Cheese and Crackers
by fanatic218
Summary: A confusing and strange conversation on the plane between Emily, Hotch, and Morgan, helping Morgan figure out what to do about a certain tech goddess. H/P and M/G confusing one-shot.


_A/N~ Hey everyone! First off, I am EXTREMELY pissed at CBS. Cutting AJ Cook? Reducing Paget Brewster's screen time? New female cast member (if it's Jordan Todd I will stop watching)? Stupid spin-off that will be nothing compared to the real thing that no one will watch? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! Really? April 1__st__ is long gone people. This is sexist to get rid of the two women on the team. And if Paget Brewster is only going to be a part time role now, does that mean the new girl (whom I have already decided to hate – no one can take JJ's place) will have full screen time? The only way I would be okay with Prentiss not being in all the episodes is if she had to go on maternity leave like JJ because she and Hotch were married and having a kid. But CBS had another lapse of idiocy and said that her and Hotch as an item would be unlikely because they were considering making her gay. UGGG! And the spin off? Come on – Cooper and Mick Rawson were the only semi-interesting characters because Forest Whitaker is a great actor and whoever plays Mick is super hot and I love accents. I don't even remember the other two people from that team – they made no impression. I want to cry._

_Second, while watching "What I Like About You" (great show, which I do not own, much like Criminal Minds), a scene I was watching made me think of a fun little story to write about. Hope you like it. Sorry if it's a bit confusing…the end will make it make more sense if you don't catch on right away._

Cheese and Crackers

"Ok Morgan, talk to me. Is it the case?" They had been on the plane for twenty minutes and all he had done was stare at the box of crackers sitting between them at the table. Emily and Hotch were seated beside each other at the table with Morgan alone on the other side. The case had been pretty straightforward, nothing really happened to make him stare off like his.

Morgan's head snapped up when Emily's voice broke the silence between the three. Hotch was eyeing him too, but had already decided to let Emily take the lead. He sighed and took a cracker out of the box.

"Prentiss, I don't know what to do. I really want this…cracker…" Cracker? What the hell? "but the cracker already has cheese. But I want the cracker to have a different cheese, why can't it see that?" Hopefully she would get his metaphor. He didn't want to talk about this for real yet. The look on her face told him she had no clue where he was going with this.

"Um, Morgan, it's a cracker. If you want a different cheese, get a different cheese. You're not going to hurt its feelings. It's a cracker." Emily was thoroughly confused. She looked over at Hotch for help, but his eyebrows were furrowed together in confusion as well.

"No Prentiss! This is not just a cracker! This cracker is so different then all the other crackers. This cheese has been on a lot of crackers, but it's best with this cracker. Only everyone thinks that the cracker is best off with some other cheese, but that's not true. This cracker and cheese need each other, but the cracker currently belongs to another cheese," he said sadly.

Emily bit her lip. She had no idea what was going on. Looking back at Hotch, she guessed he had already figured it out, but wasn't saying anything. She took a deep breath and decided to play along. Even if she had no idea what he was talking about, she could at least try to help him.

"Well, if this cracker is better off with this cheese, then this cheese should steal the cracker from the other cheese, right?" Morgan gave her an almost horrified look and shook his head. Hotch arched an eyebrow in her direction.

"Steal the cracker away from the other cheese? The right cheese is too respectable to do that kind of thing. Besides, the cracker has to see for itself that it needs to be with this cheese instead of the other cheese."

"Morgan, this is ridiculous. Cheese can't be respectable," she said rolling her eyes. Under the table, Hotch knocked her knee with his, silently telling her to shut it. She shot him a glare before turning her attention back to Morgan.

"Come on Prentiss! Just go with me for a bit. How does this cheese tell the cracker that it should be with him instead of Kevin?" _ Oh shit! I slipped up! _He thought.

"Wait…" she sat pondering for minute, almost jumped out of her seat when she finally understood. "PENELOPE IS THE CRACKER!" she shouted, proud of herself for figuring it out and overjoyed that Morgan was finally going to do something about him and Garcia.

"SHHHH!" Morgan and Hotch both said at the same time. "What should the good cheese do?" he asked in a soft voice. Well, if he wanted to keep the metaphor up, it was fine by her.

"The cheese needs to tell the cracker why it is better than the bad cheese, and explain that all the other crackers are nowhere near as delicious as this cracker, and then the cheese needs to butter up that cracker! No one likes the bad cheese by the way," she said with confidence. Hotch absentmindedly nodded next to her, still looking through the file in front of him.

Morgan sat in what Emily considered deep thought for a few minutes before thanking her and walking off to his normal spot at the other end of the plane.

"You were a lot help back there," she said to Hotch, who didn't look up from the file.

"Well, you know me. Always helping anyway I can," he said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and looked out the window.

"You're my wheat thin," Hotch said quietly after a moment, putting his chin on top her head. She tilted her head to rest on his shoulder.

"Yeah, and you're my extra sharp white cheddar."

_A/N~ Okay, so kind of weird and confusing, but that's me. I'm super weird and confusing. Hope you like weird and confusing. Please tell me what you think!_


End file.
